How Danny Keefe Found His Voice - A Most Unusual Story

Danny at Apraxia Walk

By Jennifer Keefe

As a mother of four, my first job is to protect my children to ensure their safety, keep them happy and feel loved. With Danny, my instincts to protect are very different than how I want to protect his siblings.

Danny has childhood apraxia of speech (CAS) and was diagnosed at 3 years old. When asked how he compared to other children with CAS, I was told he was severely unintelligible. They didn't have to tell us that we already knew it as we had a very difficult time understanding him. Although his siblings could understand most of what he said and could help us out.

At home, Danny is treated just like his siblings. No special treatment just another member of the Keefe household. Sometimes I would forget he had trouble speaking and communicating clearly until we left the safety of our house and I would hear children younger than him speaking clearly. It was especially hard watching his younger cousins speak so clearly when he struggled so much. His cousins have always supported him, they say cousins become your first friends, we believe that.

I was afraid to send Danny to school for fear he would get picked on by classmates. It was so hard to let him go off to school when my instincts were telling me to hold on and protect him from potential hurt. I knew I had to send him, he needed it and was ready even if I wasn't.

His years in preschool went well. He made friends. We all felt safe. Then it was time for kindergarten. His first year was OK, some children questioned why he talked the way he did, did he speak Spanish and although they weren't picking on him, the words hurt Danny deeply. I still remember Christmas of 2012 when the biggest gifts he asked for was a world globe. When I asked Danny why he told me so he could show his classmates he was from America like them and not from another part of the world. He wanted them to know that was just like them. My heart broke. I couldn't stop this from happening to him. That year Santa brought him his globe and he was so happy!

Another thing happened that year is that Danny decided he was most comfortable in a suit and hat. He wears a suit seven days a week and walks with confidence, as he should!

This year, Danny repeated kindergarten, not just because of CAS, but it did play a role in our decision. This time, though, he would go four full days and one, half day, which meant he would be at school all day and have to go to recess and lunch. While he was very excited about this, I cringed. I knew for some children that these were times of the day when they should be carefree can sometimes be the worst part of their day.  For Danny that became true.

For the most part, he has more great lunches and recess outings than bad, but when they are bad he cries and I cry. Truly, as a mom, it is the most helpless feeling not to be there to protect your child from bad things happening to them. When he would come home upset we talked about it as a family and our motto was, "it doesn't matter what people think of you it only matters what you think of yourself." It was hard saying it when Danny's heart was breaking, but my husband and I believe this. We would also talk about all of the great people in his life.

One day Danny came home and told me how two little boys took his hat off, threw it and then proceeded to throw mulch in his hair. I was so angry - beyond words - and I wanted to march on that playground and speak to those little boys, but Danny looked at me - not even angry - and told me, 

"It doesn't matter what they do, Mom.  It only matters what I think of myself."  

What I didn't expect, but should have realized, was how these stories were also affecting his siblings. His oldest brother Tim was deeply upset by what was happening to his brother. Tim didn't tell us; he confided in his friends. The friends were so impressed that a six-year-old said that it didn't matter because it only matters what he thought of himself, that one 11-year-old boy started a movement.  The boy didn't know it at the time, he just wanted to support Danny and show Danny that he loved him by also wearing a suit and fedora to school. Then the word started to spread through the entire 5th grade football team that November 20, 2013 was going to be "Danny Keefe Awareness Day." There were 45 boys who came to school to show my son, Danny Keefe, that they love and support him.

My wish has come true.  Danny is protected and it doesn't always have to be just my husband and I, but that our community is also there to help him!

Since November 20th our lives have changed. Locally, schools are sponsoring Danny Awareness Days and everyone dresses in suits and hats. His story is being told in classrooms near and far. This story has been aired locally and nationally. Most recently, Danny sat across from and spoke with Ellen DeGeneris on The Ellen Show and then demonstrated to the world his famous dance moves. 

Even though Danny has Apraxia, Danny's voice is being heard by millions and I'm not afraid for him anymore - (well maybe a little)! He is one of the strongest, most self confident people that I know. We are so proud of him, our family, community and all of those people out there that have taken the time to reach out to us. We feel very blessed and lucky to have this support for our little Danny Keefe.  

As a mom it felt great that the lessons we were teaching actually were paying off, but I felt terrible that he had to endure even an ounce of pain. 

An Open Letter

By David Ozab

To the anonymous donor who gave $60 to Team Anna for our 2012 Walk for Children with Apraxia of Speech:
 
I want to say "thank you." I know the chances of you reading this post are very small—perhaps infinitesimal—but on the slight chance you see a link to this post, I want to tell you a bit about the girl you're supporting and the many kids like her.
 
Anna is an amazing girl. I know I'm biased since I'm her dad, but she really is. She is six-and-a-half and she just started first grade: she loves to read, to swim, and to perform for anyone who'll watch, or when she's alone in front of a mirror. She wants to be an actress and I think she'll be a good one: we're looking into classes for next spring.
 
But to act she has to be understood and that's a challenge for her. At two-and-a-half years old she was diagnosed with Childhood Apraxia of Speech. CAS is a motor-speech disorder where her brain knows what to say but the mouth can't keep up. It's a spectrum disorder: some kids don't talk at all while others talk non-stop but can't be understood. Anna was in the latter category: she still is, but thanks to almost four years of intensive speech therapy, we now understand her most of the time. She's not done yet, but she's come a long way.
 
Speech therapy has made a huge difference in her life and we are grateful to all the speech language pathologists (SLPs) she has worked with over the last few years. SLPs undergo intensive training in order to work with children with CAS, and CASANA helps fund some of that training. They also fund research, iPad app development, and outreach to over 350,000 people each year through Apraxa-KIDS.com, the Apraxia-KIDS blog, and social media sites like Facebook and Twitter. None of this would be possible without donations like yours.
 
Every year, kids with Apraxia and their families participate in walks across the country to raise money and awareness. Last year, we walked with a small group of families in Salem, Oregon, and despite registering just before the deadline we still raised $360. This year, with more time to plan, we hoped to do better.
 
We did. My wife's employer gave us $1000 (meeting our original goal) in early-September. Friends and family contributed too. And Anna decided to do her part. She saved change from household chores in a special Apraxia piggybank, set up a lemonade stand during a church garage sale, and contributed half of the money she made selling her pre-school aged toys in the same sale. She raised $50 all by herself, which we matched to bring her total contribution to $100.
 
After the sale was over, we submitted her contributions to our fundraising page, leaving us only $60 short of out new goal of $1350. I posted the story of her lemonade stand on both Facebook and Twitter and with less than two weeks to go we hit our goal.
 
Thanks to you, anonymous donor.
 
It's been said by many people that the greatest testimony to a person's character is what he or she does when no one is looking. This contribution, however big or small it may seem to you, is a great testament to your character. You didn't give it in hope of recognition. You knew that no one would ever know your identity and yet you gave anyway.
 
We will never know your name, but we will always be grateful.
 
Sincerely,
 
David, Julia, and Anna Ozab.

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Biography: David Ozab is currently editing and revising his first non-fiction book, A Smile for Anna, which tells the story of his daughter’s cleft diagnosis and surgery, her difficulties with speech, and her incredible outgoing spirit through it all. He is a Contributing Editor at About This Particular Macintosh and a Guest Contributor at MyEugene. His writing has been (or will be) featured such diverse publications as Chicken Soup for the Soul, Errant Parent, and Catholic Digest. He is a stay-at-home dad and blogs about parenting and life at Fatherhood Etc (http://www.fatherhoodetc.com). He lives in Oregon with his wife Julia, his daughter Anna, and two lop rabbits named Jellybean and Oreo.

For more information on David Ozab, visit his website at http://www.davidozab.com/ 

A Bit of an Accent

By David Ozab

“Will my child be accepted?” It’s a question every parent asks, particularly parents of kids with Apraxia of Speech. I’ve asked that question myself many times. My daughter Anna has always made friends easily, but as other children her age became more verbal, I began to notice a barrier forming between her and them. It’s been two years, but this incident still sticks with me. She had just turned four, and it was the first time she was excluded because of her Apraxia.

We were at our local mall's playland that day—one of Anna’s favorite places to play. She likes the waterfall themed slide, the hollow log topped with a lounging bear, and the big red canoe. I like that there's only one way in or out so it's easy to keep an eye on her.

I sat by the entrance as I always do. I had my notebook at hand to catch any cute or funny things Anna might say. She ran around, slid down the slide, and made friends with all the kids—it was spring break so there were lots of kids to play with. She approached an older girl who was sitting on the bear and asked the same question she always does:

"Do you want to play with me?"  The girl didn't understand, so I repeated it.

"She got a bit of an accent," the girl replied.

"Yeah," I said. "She's in speech therapy."

The girl shrugged her shoulders, slid off the bear, and ran over to the slide. Anna followed, of course, like she always does when she wants to be friends.

A few minutes later, I saw Anna talking to the older girl, who sat by the slide with two other girls closer to Anna's age. The girls struggled to understand Anna so I walked over and helped translate:

"She said 'My name is Anna, what's your name?’”

"I'm Whitney," the older girl said.

"Do you want to play with me?" Anna asked again. I repeated what Anna said so the girls would understand.

"This game's for three," Whitney said. "I'm the mommy cat, and they're the kittens."

I wasn't sure if the girls were excluding Anna on purpose, or if they’d created a three-person game, but I quickly thought of a way they could include her.

"Can't there be three kittens?" I asked. "Like the song?"  I sang a verse of The Three Little Kittens. Anna and the two younger girls smiled, but Whitney shook her head.

"This is a different game.” She got up and walked away. The two younger girls followed her. Anna started off too, but I called her over.

"Anna, they’ve already started their game."

She pouted. “But I want to play with them.”

"There are lots of kids here. Why don't you find another one to play with?”

I gave her a hug and sent her on her way. Within five minutes, she and another girl were running around the play area, sliding down the slide, and laughing. She was over the snub.

But me? Not so much. It's something I've worried about since she was first diagnosed with Apraxia. She's always made friends so easily, but as she grows older, will she be seen as different and shunned by some of the kids? Her speech is improving rapidly, but she may need years of therapy to be completely understandable and even then she may never lose her "accent."

How will she handle the rejection? How will I? How much do I shield her? How much do I let her experience so she can learn to take it and ultimately ignore it?

Those questions were on my mind the rest of the day, and they’ve nagged at me ever since. Every time she enters a new social situation, I always wonder if she’ll be singled out because of her speech.

Almost two years have passed since that day at the mall. She’s six now, and has just started the second semester of Kindergarten in our neighborhood public school. She still has trouble being understood at times, but she's had no trouble making friends. Her outgoing personality and our constant encouragement have made a big difference. So has her ongoing therapy. Other than her “accent,” her classmates see her as another girl in their class.

If you are a parent of a child about to enter school, and you're worried about how your child will fit in, I hope that I've eased your worries a little bit. Yes it can be difficult, but in my experience it's never as bad as we imagine it will be. Take advantage of all the support that's given to you, and then let your child have fun.

______________________________________________________________________

Biography: David Ozab is currently editing and revising his first non-fiction book, A Smile for Anna, which tells the story of his daughter’s cleft diagnosis and surgery, her difficulties with speech, and her incredible outgoing spirit through it all. He is a Contributing Editor at About This Particular Macintosh and a Guest Contributor at MyEugene. His writing has been (or will be) featured such diverse publications as Chicken Soup for the Soul, Errant Parent, and Catholic Digest. He is a stay-at-home dad and blogs about parenting and life at Fatherhood Etc (http://www.fatherhoodetc.com/). He lives in Oregon with his wife Julia, his daughter Anna, and two lop rabbits named Jellybean and Oreo.

Links:
David Ozab: Writer http://www.davidozab.com/ Salem, Oregon 

YOU'RE A STAR

This poem was written by 10-year-old Megan Stephens. She wrote this poem for her younger brother, Dawson, who has apraxia.




Through my sight,
I can see your fright,
But it’s alright.
It’s not your fault.
You’ve done nothing wrong.
I know that you are strong.

You may have trouble talking,
But that doesn’t make you any different.
No one is the same,
And there should be no shame.

Some people may be mean,
And it doesn’t make it right,
But on your face,
I can still see the light.

When I hear your voice,
It makes me smile.
I would love to hear you talk to me
For a while.

You may have trouble talking,
But that doesn’t mean a single thing,
Because you are everything
To me.

Now I can see your strength.
I can’t even measure its length.
You know that you are amazing,
And you truly are
My star.

In Your Silence

In Your Silence

In your silence I hear your fear,
Your need to have me always near,
The fear you won't be understood.
Speak my child - if only you could.

Some people don't know, they say "She'll be alright!"
They don't see the pain, the anguish and fright.
You understand all that they say and infer,
Yet you cannot respond - a pain you incur.

My love for you is simply not enough,
To get you through life, at times will be tough.
But I will help you grow with all in me,
You shall find your voice, this I guarantee.

Your voice will be strong, your words so proud.
You will one day stand tall and speak out loud.
You won't fear anymore, not being understood.
It is then that we'll know we did all that we could.

So for now in your silence I hear your fear,
Your need to have me always near.
The fear you won't be understood,
One day will be gone - it will be gone for good.

(posted with permission of author Sarah Grainer)

Apraxia………..

by Michelle Genser-Jones

The expressions in your face
Show the words you can not say
Not a fault, of yours nor I,
But of Apraxia,

Unknown to most….
It is not heard, nor seen,
But a Voice it takes

Scared parents…cry…worry
While surrounded by others…
Who just can’t understand

The fate, the destiny of their loved child
Seem unfounded through the endless wait…
With ears constantly ready for that first word
Joyful tears pour out when it’s finally heard

Words…movements… Sounds, may be found
Only to be lost once more,
And re-found at a later date
Dreams only to remain are those shared

Between child and parent
A bond always remains

Is Your Nonverbal Child Safe on the School Bus?

by Sharon Gretz, M.Ed.

[April 14, 2013:  Unfortunately, it keeps occurring.  Today we learn of 3 year old Elliott from Minnesota, who has childhood apraxia of speech, and never made it to school.  His mom thought he was playing and learning but he never made it and when he did not arrive at home on the bus and she called the school, the school said he had not been there. He was found 4 hours later still strapped in the bus in the bus terminal.  We are so grateful that Elliott is safe. Please read the article below and consider what you can do for your child or in your school district to make sure this doesn't happen!]

Two weeks ago we learned of a very disturbing story via the internet about a four year old girl with childhood apraxia of speech who was left unattended and forgotten on her school bus for over three hours. Little blond Ava was unable to yell out for help. Despite school district bus safety policies and procedures, the bus driver allegedly failed to do the seat by seat check that would have located Ava in the rear of the bus. An investigation ensued and shortly thereafter the bus driver resigned.

Ava’s family would like the Apraxia-KIDS community to understand how important it is to ask questions about your school’s bus safety procedures and to ask for a written copy. No one thinks that this can happen to their child, however, on the CASANA facebook page a number of parents are reporting similar stories about their child being placed in unsafe situations. For example, one boy was driven past his bus stop but could not tell the bus driver and was taken back to the school before he was noticed. Another child was crying on his bus but since the school bus driver did not understand his communication, no one knew why or what had happened. And tragically, a similar story occurred a decade ago to another little boy who was left on the bus in the bus garage for hours. On a brighter note, parents on our Facebook page also discussed safety procedures that are in place for their child who is nonverbal or limited verbal.

So the bottom line is this: What can parents to do best protect their child with limited intelligible speech?

1. Make sure that your school district has bus safety procedures in writing and assure that you get a copy of the policy.
2. Inquire about whether your child’s bus driver has had special needs training. Arrange a meeting between school administration and your child’s bus driver to discuss your son or daughter’s communication needs.
3. Include travel safety and transportation details as part of your child’s I.E.P. Transportation is considered a “related service” and so specific transportation details can and should be included when the IEP team has agreed to include transportation for your child. A transportation plan would be a tremendous addition to the IEPs of children who are unintelligible or nonverbal.
4. Communication goals at school and at home should include self protection and self identification goals. Children with communication challenges need a way or need practice with skills such as calling for help (“Help Me”); how to gain someone’s attention (“Hey you!” “Wait!”). These phrases can be incorporated into speech targets or augmentative communication.

Having a child left alone for hours on a bus is easily every parent’s nightmare but is particularly disturbing if the parent is already concerned about a child’s ability to speak out. Careful planning and team work are essential to assure the protection of all, but most of all for the child. 

If you are a parent, do not let your concerns and worries be pushed aside. If you are an educator, be an advocate to make sure that children with no or little speech are kept safe!  For a guide designed for both parents and educators, please read An Overview of Special Education Transportation:A Primer for Parents and Educators.

Beautiful Girl

By Isobel Allen

You’re light has always shined so bright

Even when you lost your words

And we started this fight

You’re light shined bright

Happiness is infectious coming

From such a special child

I struggle to be more like you

Not letting the worry build

They will not misunderstand,

Or get it all wrong

Oh but sometimes they do

Does it hurt me more than you?

I see the words in your eyes

What you want to say with all your might

To join with the other kids

And still your light shines bright

How hard you have worked, what a feat

For such a young life

We will keep on going

Educating all we meet

Someday you will tell us

All your dreams and desires

This I have no doubt

The Joy you give we could not live without

I’ll always be by your side

My heart weighs heavy still as

You’re light shines bright

Our beautiful girl